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Saturday, January 1, 2005
Today is the first day of the rest of the year. How exciting.
Last night, a few friends and myself got all gussied up and went to eat a very gross dinner at Mamacitas. April Jones visited!! That was thrilling. I miss her. Her and Eric were trying to discuss politics at the table while Jennifer was eating. You don't do that. EVAR! Go Bush.
And after that we stopped at H.E.B. to get some fake wine, but they didn't have any, which sucked. So we moved on to WalMart. Thank God for WalMart.
Then we went to Apryl's and drank and discussed and took stupid pictures. Then April left.
I'm leaving out going to Jenna's because I didn't think that was very fun. I mean...who the heck wants to go to a party where some adults are drinking and trying to dance to rap?? So I told her little sister I was pregnant.
I'm officially dating A.J. now. Woot!
Eric, Jennifer, and I went to Denny's to enjoy a late night cappucino before Eric had to go home. We had some pretty darn good conversations.
If I was an alcoholic...I would have died last night from drinking too much.
Current mood:  giddy Current music: Action Action
Thursday, December 23, 2004
I don't know.
Ahh...the holiday season. I love Christ's birthday. It's always such a fun party. I do not know what this year's Christmas has in store for me. My plans...I do not know. I'm sure there will be something involving the seeing of family members. I'm sure that Christmas lunch is somewhere in the cards. I can smell everything now. Hot chocolate with the hint of peppermint thanks to my stirring device, poinsettas galore, pumpkin freaking pie, and lots and lots of presents. After that I'll go put on my play clothes, go in the front yard and climb that pecan tree like I did last week, but this time I'm not going to get halfway up and begin debating whether morality is social adaptation, a product of evolution, or put there...by God.
The night before tonight a few friends and I went to the movie house after, of course, eating at Chilis. That might as well be tradition, I've decided. The film of the night was "Meet the Fockers". Hilarious, truly. While patiently waiting for the picture to begin, Jennifer and I recited Bradley's joy. We talked about the various people who began to pile into the theater. The girl with the ugly hair, the Impact people, my boi with the sweet chucks, and the many many rednecks who have, for some reason, swarmed to our town.
Before the movie Jennifer, Mary, and myself did something horrible. Instead of actually going to church, we planned to watch the movie. So around 8:30ish we went to Calvary to enjoy wassel and cookies. We were too late. But! Mrs. Koppenburg did give some of the left over cookies which were delicious.
Oh! I saw an emo pansy at the movies too. Hehe. Too bad it wasn't breakfast time.
Well...Mary Christmas to everyone, including Mary.
Current mood:  rushed Current music: Bradley effing Hathaway
Monday, December 20, 2004
Lifes tourturous journey was never meant to be easy. For some reason though, we come into this world expecting growing up to be a piece of cake. Cake however, if you've ever tried baking one, does not make itself, and it can't just appear at the snap of a finger. You have to work on it. Life is very similar.
First you enter into the world shivering and yelling your head off until you're immediatly cuddled in the arms of, you can already tell, a very loving and gullable person. The next few years are filled with getting what you want when you want it by simply crying until your face turns beet red, your eyes are bloodshot, and your head is throbbing. Then someone finally appears in a rugged bath room, wrinkled pajamas, messy hair, and half-open eyes to fullfill every one of your needs. With every accomplishment you acheive, such as crawling, learning to throw spagetti with a spoon, or even learning to laugh when they try to be funny, is followed by quick applause, laughter, and "Ooohs" and "Awwws".
Next is a very important stage of your life. This is where you learn your first words, don't sleep during nap time, play tag on the playground, and learn that if Billy hits you, you should automatically hit him back because it's only fair. This is also when discipline kicks in. Now, instead of being praised for every action, you're scolded with "No no! That's hot!! Don't touch that!!" This stage of your life is when your mommy dresses you "oh so cute" and later in life you look back and ask God why your mother couldn't have been caught up with all the latest fashion. But still, things are carefree. You don't care about independence, and the word "No!" actually still means something.
When you hit 6, you're suddenly a big girl and deserving of proper recognization from you. You spend the next few years developing a sense of self. By now, you already have a possey, and everyone else comes before your courtroom of judgement. This is where you're categorized as either a rebel, or a goody goody. The rebel being the one who's constantly sent to the principle's office, puts glue in the teacher's seat, and makes Austin cry and then blames it on Jody. On the other hand if you're a goody goody, then you're the one who goes to school on time, follows every one of the teacher's directions, and is a constant suck-up. You have a bed time, and forced to do all of your homework.
11,12, and 13. Middle school. A place where you're still kind of friends with everyone, except for the awkwardly weird people that pick their boogers and eat them. Class is still rather fun, but lunch is still your favorite. Your fashion is an issue, but not too big of one, and the more fights you're in, the more respect you get. You're totally up on the new pop star, and you have posters of N'SYNC plastered on your wall. Parents seem to become more strict, and extremely unfair. Talking back is an unbreaking habit. You're not yet old enough to be officially grounded, so your parental units resort to spanking you.
14. Ahhh...high school. At last! A place where you can express yourself freely. You're insecure about who to talk to, so you still have some of your buddies from middle school. Talking to upper classmen is downright forbidden. You find out that you can fall into one of many categories: jock, prep, band nerd, the athlete, cheerleader, gothic freak, just plain nerd, punk, ghetto, outcast, etc. Your social status relies heavily on which group you're a part of. Very rarely do you speak to someone of a different group. Grounding is overrated, and very common. Rebellion is at an all-time high. Parties, drinking, and drugs become predators, and unknowingly, you are the prey.
As you become and upperclassmen, you desperatly long to be released from the hellhold of high school. You count down the days to graduation, and you're still clueless about what you're going to do with the rest of your life. Your parents constantly nag you about getting a job. Homework either becomes your greatest priority, or your least. By now your sense of self is fully developed. You're either popular and hurting, or unpopular and still hurting. Insecurity plagues your mind, and you're overrun by self-conciousness.
Escaping the iron clasp of high school is a great relief, but being a college student and having to depend on yourself for things makes you long to be younger.
Life's journeys go up, down, and spiral quite a bit. Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes it's hard. No one ever said everything would always be A-OK. It doesn't last forever, but you reach a point where you have to realize that not cherishing the moments you have now will hurt you in the end. Make the best of now. Now will last forever. So every moment will be your best. Words of wisdom.
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: Deathcab for Cutie
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Ok...so I admit...I'm horrible at this keeping up with a journal thing. I guess I just can't commit. Life's been dandy these past few weeks. I think I've been inseperable from Aaron. Actually...come to think of it...today's the first day I've gone without seeing him in almost 3 weeks. I think I'll go cry.
Last night was not so silent. Kevin Little (or Litle in terms of Jason from BFS), Gavin DeGraw, Ryan Cabr...something, Bowling for Soup, and Switchfoot amused my ears. I only saw about 5 minutes of Kevin (not missing much at all). Gavin was...I have to say a disappointment in his performance skills, but it was still enjoyable to act stupid and make the girls behind us mad during his show. Let's not even go into how Jen and I fainted for Ryan. Bowling for Soup and Switchfoot were by far my most favorites. The comedy was great, and the worship, amazing. The sacrafices we made to watch those bands, you wouldn't believe. Arguing with Apryl, getting lost, having to call every single person we knew who lived in San Antonio for directions...it was just grand. And then having to wait outside the gates in effing cold weather for Apryl, Audrey, and Marie to arrive...pure torture. Then afterwards, trying to find a nice Denny's to have a sitdowneat latenight supper was wonderful. But, I guess everything sort of balled itself together to make a super awesome night.
I told Jennifer that if she was a color...she'd be purple pastel pretty. That's very suitable.
I have a Christmas banquet to attend tonight. How quaint. I don't think I'll dress up. I don't feel up to primping either. Hmm...sucks for the rest of humanity.
Ooooo! Christmas is coming up. I'm so sexited! I really need to get crackin on getting gifts for the few friends I have.
Well...enough rubbish for one day. I'm going to sleep.
Current mood:  content like the fat fat lady. Current music: The wonderful sound of my own breath.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Ok...last night was the Showbread concert, and I have to admit...I had a lovely time. He is Legend was pretty nifty too. I got 2 shirts, and 7 buttons. I'm rich. And Nate gave me 2 posters, so now I'm even cooler, except not. The only thing that bugged me about last night was that there were these 2 spoiled skank girls standing within 5 feet of me. Talk about irritation. All I could hear in between songs was the mindless chat of high voices and "like"s. I would have ripped there heads off had my favorite band not have been playing. The stage performance was kick-butt.
I withdrew from school yesterday morning. Woo!! No more high school. Thank You God!!!
I think I need to eat something. I haven't going on 2 days now. I'm sorry Jen, I lied to you last night. Please forgive me.
Both my ears are ringing. Maybe I should answer them.
Current mood:  drained Current music: "Cross My Heart" -The Rocket Summer
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Yesterday was a most eventful day. A short while after noon I went to Hastings to meet Tom and James. From there we stopped at Chilis to eat. Apryl joined us there. Then she left for work while we left for San Antonio. Tom, James, and I met Christie at Best Buy. We all talked, hung out, all those great things. After Ingram Park Mall, followed by IHOP, We parted ways from Christie, who was exhausted. So we went to Tom's apartment which was very interesting. Not too shabby. James and I left Tom to sleep and went to catch a movie. The Grudge. It would have been so much better if it weren't for the stupid mindless people who laughed continuously at ridiculous parts. I had the awkward feeling that James thought I was coming onto him because I kept having to get closer to him in order to see past the seat blocking my view. I was so close to him that I ended up only being 1/4 of the way in my seat. I really wasn't trying to be promiscuous, I was merely trying to watch the movie. I personally had a marvelous time with James. I'm extremely thankful Tom introduced us. We talked the entire way back to K-town. He spoke of how he loves movies and who his favorite movie directors were and whatnot. I think he kind of felt like he was going on and on and on and I wanted him to shut up, but in fact, I didn't want him to stop at all. It really fascinated me how interested in movies he is. He has probably the awesomest personality of anyone I've ever met. I like that. We got home rather late. About 2 maybe. It was well worth the criticism I received from my dad. I didn't get into trouble or anything, but he was rather annoyed that I didn't bother staying home because he was leaving the next day. He'll get over it.
Today though...has been a lazy day. I think the only thing I did besides sleep, is go to visit my grandparents. That was alright.
Oh yeah...James made me a cd. I love it! I really do. I appreciate it so much. The last song has become my new favorite song ever. It's "I'll Catch You" by The Get Up Kids. It makes me want to cry. If I was dating somebody, and I truly liked them, that would most definitely be our song. I've decided.
Current mood: grateful Current music: "I'll Catch You" - The Get Up Kids
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
I'm awfully bummed because I was really looking forward to going to an Emery concert in San Antonio tonight, but...things just didn't work out. I decided not to go on account of James. He was working.
Anyhow...bible study was awesome tonight! Our second week...and there's still not a lot of people, but I don't care, it's still fun. 2 extra people came. Krishauna and Meagan. We're considering moving it to another night. Possibly Sunday night. We're deciding next week. I took many pictures to put in my scrapbook. I was excited. It's coming along great.
Camp is next Friday. WOO HOO!!!!! It's going to be awesome. There will only be 7 people going. Wow...talk about bonding time. Although I really wish Alyssa could go. Playing "Finding Emo" just won't be the same without her.
I've decided that I'm straightxedge. But I'm not ordinary straightxedger. You see, I'm not a vegan, or a vegetarian. And although most people believe that you have to be that, it's just not true. I'm an "old school" straightxedger. There I go my the basic virtues. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't have sex. The end. Straightxedge has branched into so many strange doctrines that it's become ridiculous.
I dead, and tired. I'm deadtired.
Current mood:  lazy Current music: "Walls" - Emery
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Today was a very informative day. Some things good, some things bad. Either way...I learned of a lot.
First off...we have cross-dressing Greg who was a fella I knew in my younger years. I knew that boy was always a little too femanine.
Next we have the recent development of new ideas on how to cope with my seemingly horrible lifestyle. Instead of waiting until my birthday at the end of next month to take myself out of school...it might happen tomorrow. With the counselor's help of course. This meaning...I have to start looking for a full-time job. A flower shop job actually sounds appealing. Flowers make me smile. Unless of course the pollen gets up my nose and makes me sneeze, which isn't too often.
Moving on...I invested in a new cell phone today. It was very much needed. It's pretty...like Matt. My mom is the bomb.
I heard from a suicidal friend today. He happened to mention the phrase "I'll miss you when I'm gone." That scares me to death. Please pray.
I feel like everything I once knew as my life completely changed. Some of those changes aren't exactly easy to deal with...but I know I've got to. And the hard thing is...I don't know what I'm supposed to be expecting from all of it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be a better person from it, or if I'll just become hated by some. Whichever it turns out to be...God's with me...and I know that. I just have to keep reminding myself of it. It's amazing how things change right before your eyes without you even realizing it.
10 more days until Columbus!
Current mood:  restless
Monday, October 18, 2004
11 more days to go until a few friends and I are on our way to Columbus, Tx. Camp is such a lovely thing. I love it. And right now...it's just what I need.
I'm skipping school yet again today. I don't really care because I don't have to worry about it come November anyway. I'm so tired I feel like I can barely walk.
So Jennifer brought to my attention the "J to the 4th" idea. I have to admit...I like it so much better. I mean...finding a John isn't that bad, but finding a better guy who's name STARTS with a J is so incredibly better. Nice Jay. And I have to confess...I'm NOT heartbroken about Johnny's crush. Not in the slightest bit. In fact...that makes me ecstatic! Aww...but that means he doesn't like Jen anymore. Poor Jennifer. She'll probably cry herself to sleep now.
Only 2 more days until Wednesday and BS. I can't wait. I hope more people go this week. Oh yeah...and Wednesday is also when I happened to be meeting Tom and maybe someone else at Hastings. Hahahahahaha. Yeah well...I'm not getting my hopes up.
Lunch Time!!
Current mood: exhausted Current music: "The Tide" - Spill Canvas
Sunday, October 17, 2004
You want to know how I feel today...reread the subject. The end.
Current mood: blah Current music: the humming of the computer
Friday, October 15, 2004
Yes. I am skipping school yet again today. Kill me now. I think the last time I actually went a full day of school was Tuesday. My mother and I are hardxcore considering taking me out of school so I can get my GED and go to college next year.
But anyway. So I'm tired and drugged STILL, and I think my stomach is eating itself. Not a good feeling.
I woke up to Relient K Christmas music and near frostbite this morning. 43 degrees. To some...that's warm. For this Texaner...it's drop-dead-in-your-socks-freezing.
I've taken up a new hobby. Crocheting. My great-grandmother taught my grandmother, and my grandmother skipped teaching my mother because she's horrible with her concentration skills, and taught me. So I'm crocheting Apryl a nice wintery white scarf. Fun.
I start counseling on Monday. They think I'm crazy. I'm not. Or maybe I am for thinking I'm not. Either way...it's gay.
I think I'll go enjoy a nice cup of hot cocoa (with little marshmallows on top), and sit in front of the nice warm fire. I hope I don't catch my socks ablaze.
Current mood:  cold Current music: "I Celebrate the Day" - RK
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Ok...so I haven't written on this in quite a long while. There's way too many things to catch up on...so I'll just start from scratch. I skipped school today. Not good. I've skipped way too much. But I feel so drugged. I hate that when you take sleeping pills to sleep...you end up sleeping too much. That's what has happened. This is the year where I need to stay focused and actually do all my homework and whatnot, but in fact, I've done neither of the two. Horrible. Last night was the first of many bible studies at Sporty's. It went well with the whole 6 people who showed up. That doesn't matter. It was awesome! And I think it's going to go places. Ok..so I'm drugged and half asleep right now...therefore...I'm off. I need to get some kind of food in me.
Current mood: sleepy Current music: "A Boy Brushed Red Living in Black and White" -Underoath
Saturday, July 3, 2004
"Alone" -Sanctus Real
True love exists, yes, I know this
My heart was waiting for you
And when we met I felt my chest
Pound fast, racing for the chance
To know you, to hold you
To open up and show you
The way it feels when you know...
You are not alone
Know that I would fight the tides to
Be together
When you feel alone
Listen to this song to make your heart
Feel better
Two hearts entwined, yes, you are mine
And I'll be yours forever
I've done the math, I'm less than half
We're better off together
And I want you here by my side
As much as you are on my mind
When I'm gone you should know
Rainy Mondays feel like Fridays
When you're smiling at me I can feel
The space
Between us collapsing
Our love is everlasting
Listen to this song
Let it make you're heart feel better
That's a very inspirational song. Just thought I'd share.
Katy
Current mood: tired Current music: "I Miss You" -Blink 182
Yesterday was a not-fun day. I spent the morning hurling what guts I had into the bowl of my toilet. I despise throwing up. I took some medication for the nausea which left me dead asleep for 5 1/2 hours. I awoke around 7ish. I talked to my friend Jennifer and we decided to go and rent Exreme Days. Good movie by the way. I stayed the night at her house. I didn't catch much sleep considering that I had done most of it during that afternoon. I stayed up until 5, and then I finally shut my eyes for a period of time. I woke up this morning to the voices of Mary and Meagan in the hallway playing on the computer. We talked to our friend Stephen from Tennessee for a while, and then Mary and Meagan got the bright idea to make pancakes for breakfast. It turns out that they didn't know how to make pancakes. The pan, and the pancake batter suffered hard this morning. Meagan did manage to do her first pancake flip. Jennifer's mom ended up having to make the rest of the pancakes. They were delightful. I need sleep.
-Kate
Current mood: exhausted
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Today sucks.
Current mood: blah Current music: The sweet sound of nothing.
Monday, June 28, 2004
I love string cheese and Dermike Mabado. I hate Twinkie Shawn for taking over. I also would like to ask Jen if she would like to come over 'cause uh...I got a unicorn.
Current mood:  annoyed Current music: Jonathan's Salsa Band
The night of last a great tragedy occured. A few friends and I decided to go to the local theater to view "Dodgeball". Funny movie by the way. Afterwards, all of us were lingering about when Kris thought she saw Greg Siff (the guy off of "From Justin to Kelly") walking alongside the building. None of us knew for shore, so we went about our business deciding on what to do. We came to the decision to just meet back at Jennifer's house, so her little sister Mary and I left. Instead of going home though, we stopped by Hastings (a video store) to rent the Extreme Days dvd. It turns out that you have to be 17 or older to rent that movie. Who knew!?! 1) It's a christian movie 2) The closest thing to sex in it is a kiss (a single kiss!!) 3)It has no profanity in it whatsoever. It's just stupid!!! Why on God's great earth would you have to be 17???? Anyhow...being a little bummed from that dreadful experience, I called Jen on her cell to find out her whereabouts. They were still at the movie theater. It turns out that it really was Greg Siff, and they had already taken pictures with him and gotten his autograph....without us!!!! It was all so horrible that Mary and I went home and slit our wrists.....except we didn't.
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